Tuesday Mornings

Tuesday mornings I get up just a bit earlier than normal.  Kevin has Bible study in the city and that gives me a few extra items in my morning routine.  I make my bed and head downstairs for a quick workout.  In the summertime the sun is already covering all the surfaces with radiant light, beckoning for the world to open it's eyes.  After my workout, I jump into the shower and then grab my water and maybe a glass of iced coffee and curl up on the couch with my devotion for the day.  Usually about ten minutes in, I hear 'Daddy' being pleaded from Luke's room.  I ask Jesus for an extra dose of grace and then I head into Luke's room to help him start a brand new day.

Kevin is usually in charge of getting Luke up in the mornings and is given the best gift of about ten minutes of snuggle time with him as he wakes up.  On Tuesday mornings, I get to relish in that time with my Luke, even if he prefers his Daddy.  We head for the couch, Luke nestled in the crook of my elbow as we cover up with a blanket because Kevin loves it cool in the summertime and Luke and I are both cold.

Kevin is good at this cuddle time because he knows Luke doesn't want to talk or do anything (typical boys), he just wants to be together, on the couch, snuggled into the corner.  I have observed this many times and have made a mental note to try and not start blabbing right when I get him up.  This past Tuesday morning my mom brain was not acting so mom-ish and I actually remembered that he just likes to 'be' and not talk about everything that is going on in my head.

So, we snuggled up into the brown faux-fur blanket in the corner of our couch and he sucked his fingers while I stroked his hair.  I rested my head on top of his head and there we sat, just 'being'.  Instead of thinking of the rest of my morning to-do's during this precious ten minutes, I decided to focus on Luke and all of him.  I decided to let my mind take in how much he has grown and the obvious reality that he is getting bigger and older everyday.  One of these days, he will no longer want to snuggle with me on the couch on Tuesday mornings.  In fact, one day he might not want to snuggle with me at all.

After about eight minutes, he decides to turn around and put his legs up by my stomach.  He continues to nuzzle into my knees and I massage his skinny little legs as he tells me he wants to eat banana muffins.  I know we have to get going and get breakfast ready and his sister out of bed, but I just want to stay here a little longer. 

I want to remember how this boy of mine snuggled with me on this morning.  I want to remember how his sandy, dirty blonde hair shimmered in the light and how it was matted down at the back.  I want to remember the heaviness of his head on my elbow.  I want to remember how his legs didn't even fill up his train pajamas.  I want to remember that I knew he loved me in that moment.

Because someday he won't snuggle with me on Tuesday mornings anymore.

Someday he will probably still be sleeping at 7:15 in the morning in the summertime.  Someday he will roll his eyes when I ask for any sort of physical contact.  #heavenhelpme Someday he won't even be sleeping under the same roof. (This doesn't even seem possible.)

When that someday comes (a super long time from now) I will remember this special time, I will remember Tuesday mornings.