The Hidden Husband

Loving.  Compassionate.  Determined.  Helpful.  Jesus-loving.  Encouraging. Intelligent. Provider.  

These are the words that come to my mind when I think of my husband.  I believe I have the best husband in the entire world.  Some of you may role your eyes or smirk and that's okay.  But, I do and should believe he is the best.  Just like every wife should believe the same thing about her husband.  My husband is my encourager, my person, the one I chose to spend everyday with a little under ten years ago.  I am to be the same for him.  His encourager, his person, he chose me as his partner for this life.

Kevin and I are in a season of raising babies and going to bed exhausted and giving of ourselves all day long.  He is at the office providing to meet all our financial needs, while I am at home meeting our babies' physical and emotional needs.

I get a lot of credit for staying home.  This might come as a surprise to some of you, but I really do.  In a culture where many moms feel under appreciated and overworked, I have the benefit of living around people that appreciate and honor my stay at home mom job.  People tell me, 'you have your hands full', 'you don't have any time for yourself', or my favorite, 'how do you do it'.  As tiring as this mom gig is, those comments solidify that my job is hard and I am doing important work.

Not only do I get people telling me how hard of a job I have, but I go to a mom's group that is just for moms like me who are in the midst of raising babies.  I get celebrated at this group and showered with a hot breakfast and fun giveaways and receive truth from speakers about parenting and motherhood and marriage and my spiritual life.

I get lavished with flowers and gifts and kisses on Mother's Day.  Kevin plans the best day and somehow every year I feel like the most important person on the planet.

My husband finds time early in the morning or on weekends to get his work done, so I can have girl time because he knows it sustains me and grants me relationships with girlfriends I love.  Whether it's Cooking Club or dinner with a friend or a girl's weekend away, he is the hidden man that makes it happen.  He encourages me on Saturdays to go to Starbucks for a few hours alone so I can refocus and feel reenergized to care and love our family well.

I am blessed with all of this, because I am a mom and Kevin's wife.

My sweet sweet husband sometimes gets stuck in the background.  The hidden husband.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think he minds one bit.  But, our culture, our world, has worked so hard at raising up moms and women that I think we might have forgotten about the strong, hard working husbands and dads that do good work everyday for their families.

The husbands and fathers in our families maybe get a mug and a high five on Father's Day in contrast to the flowers, gifts, and breakfast in bed that many moms experience.  There is most definitely not a DOPS group (Dads of Preschoolers) and no one is asking a dad 'how do you do it' when he is working on a spreadsheet at Starbucks.  We seem to have forgotten that husbands and dads are an extremely important piece of the family puzzle.

Just because our husbands and dads are men, doesn't mean they are too strong or proud to be appreciated.  A word of affirmation can go a long way for the men in our lives.  'Thanks for working hard for us' or 'You are such a good dad' or 'I love doing this life with you' can make an overworked man feel love and respect.  Giving men permission to go golf or meet a friend or see a movie can raise them up as well.  If your man already makes time for these things, don't make him feel guilty, but encourage him and be happy that he is doing something that makes him happy.  These husbands in our lives need a break too, even though they seem to be 'away' all day.

I don't think anyone is going to be telling Kevin 'you don't have time for yourself' when he's presenting in a meeting or working in the early morning hours at home before any of us wake.  

But, I can be the person in his life encouraging him, conveying to him how grateful I am for the role he plays in our family.  I can acknowledge his hands are full and signify I see the sacrifice and work he does for me and our babes. I can make him feel known.

Our husbands and fathers to our children may never get the praise and recognition from people at work or the grocery store or Starbucks, but they surely can get it from us at home.  

What words come to mind when you think of your man?  

Tell him.  Today and as often as you can...make sure he is a known husband in your home.  


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