It's hard to imagine what I was thinking or feeling or if I even knew what I was getting myself into. I'm pretty sure I had no clue what marriage truly entailed when I was 23 years old. Who knows anything at 23? I surely didn't know how to cook or keep any plant alive or find my way around the city. But, at 23 I thought I had this life thing figured out and knew, without a doubt, I wanted to marry Kevin.
Thinking back to that time, Kevin and I surely had a lot of faith. Faith is defined as 'complete trust or confidence in something'. I had definitive trust in Kevin to be the husband I needed him to be. Kevin had great trust in me to be the wife he needed me to be. We both had faith in God to carry us through the good times and the hard times.
Those first few years of marriage were tough and could rival the difficulties of the first year of being brand new parents. Kevin and I had to figure how to live together, how to do our finances together, how to make decisions together. There were definitely some moments of harsh words and hurt feelings and 'is this really going to work?'
But, we didn't give up.
We had faith in each other and got through those first hard years and found our groove. We figured out how to love each other selflessly and what each of us needed in our relationship. Our dreams grew together and we found our way to two kids and a life in the very spot we said 'I do'.
Now, just because we are over the 'hump', everything is not picture perfect and we don't always agree or are on the same page. But, it's different now. We love each other through things and work hard to overcome whatever is standing between one another. The disagreements are not as intense and we know neither of us is going anywhere.
Life is messy and there will be times and seasons where we have to try and find each other again, get back to where we need to be. And we will, because I have faith in us.
Although Kevin and I worked hard on our marriage, really hard, the only person that can receive credit for us still being married nine years later is our Heavenly Father. He got us through the rough spots and brought us closer to Him and closer to each other. He kept us in the game when we wanted out and gave us self control to overcome our own shortcomings. He was with us on that day nine years ago and He is with us today.
Our faith in each other and God has gotten us to this day, nine years after committing to be together always. I am thankful for Kevin and the husband he is to me and the father he is to our children. God has surely given me the man of my dreams in this life. He models Christ-like faith and forgiveness and understanding and makes me want to be a better person. He gives to me without hesitation or reservation and loves me so so well.
I want to remember that 23 year old baby that married the man she loved and the faith she had then about this life. I think I can learn a thing or two from her. That was a good day, our wedding day, but we have had so many momentous moments and days and nights in that same backyard since then. And I know in my heart of hearts the best is yet to be...
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